Upper limits

A healthy directive I try to live by is: Feel all of your feelings.

Feeling sad or aggravated are hard. We understand how staying with that feeling is difficult but necessary. Feeling the feeling reveals more about that feeling.

I have worked through many issues this way. Instead of running away and thinking about something else I have learned to stay with the feeling.

It leads me to questions. Why am I feeling this way? What brought it up? Am I believing an old story? Is it really the truth? What is really true?

This all makes sense when it comes to pain and sorrow. What about feeling good? Who would not want to feel good? Why would we limit good?

It’s our brains. When change of any sort happens, our brain goes on alert. The brain’s main function is to protect us. If feeling good is foreign to you, your brain will rebel. It will do everything it can to get you back to your regular feeling. It likes consistency.

That is what is happening in your brain when it reaches it’s upper limit. It is scared. It hasn’t felt this feeling before. It feels too good. Something has to change. It’s like turning off the burner when the water boils, your brain tries to bring the “good level” back to what it is used too. How does it do that? Start a fight, start thinking negative thoughts, have a breakdown. Just think about kids having a meltdown after a great day. That is what your brain is doing when it reaches the upper limit and can’t deal with anymore good.

First be aware of the issue. Start by observing. Notice how you react when it happens.

And then look deeper. Start by asking questions. How do you feel about feeling good? Do you feel you deserve to feel good? Did you have a happy childhood? Are you a happy person?

Once you are aware of it, you can start to make a change. When you start to react a certain way, you know you are not in your integrity. Take a moment to look at why you are feeling that way. Could it be an upper limits issue?

Get in a practice of looking for the fun and good in your life. And celebrate. If you acknowledge the good feelings you can handle them. Celebrate more. Embrace your happiness every time you feel it. The more you experience it the more your brain will get used to it. Then your limit will get higher and higher. And that is definitely worth celebrating.

Pay attention to how you feel when you are having fun. And make sure you do not sabotage the feeling. Sit with it for a few minutes and really feel that good feeling. When you feel it again and again it becomes your constant and your brain accepts the feeling.

Upper Limits issues happen with our careers too. We can feel like success isn’t for us. We stay stuck because we aren’t used to being successful, having money or having respect. We sabotage ourselves for subconscious reasons. If we are aware of the upper limits we can work to change it.

If you are ready to raise your upper limits I am here to help. Let’s set up a free consultation call.



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Lesley King

I help people figure out their next steps in career or life. I help them discover the life they want to live and the career that fits that lifestyle.